Now that we've been home awhile

Being home is hard. I wasn’t ready to come home. I don’t want to be home. I want to be down there working, meeting more people of New Orleans to hear their stories and change their lives. I miss everyone more than ever and the pattern of life that had developed at Berean. There was something about being there that my heart clings to. It was the way we held on to God at each turn and strained to hear His every word. It was the way God blessed through us. It was those moments when everything faded away, but laughter and joy and God’s amazing grace.

Over the past week people have asked me about New Orleans and I struggle to find the right words. There is nothing I can say to sum up the trip and make them understand. It can be a little frustrating at times. Being home, I realized that I don’t want life to go back to normal. I want a new normal, one where I lay down everything that I have at the foot of His throne. I want to put others above myself and make them know I’m doing it all for Him.

There is still a lot to sort out and organize, but one thing I know is our God is so cool. He rocks and He has helped us do amazing things. I hope we will have the privilege to go back to NOLA. Who knows, God may have something else in store for us. I will follow where He leads me.

-Hannah Brown

It’s been almost a week since returning from my second trip to help the victims of hurricane Katrina. I can still see the faces of the many people that I was able to meet and hopefully be a refection of Christ to while I was there. I think about seeing the happiness and hope in Mattie’s face as the FEMA trailer that she had lived in for almost 2 years was towed off of her front lawn. I think about being privileged to hear about the storm and its aftermath from Ray, a soon-to-be-retired New Orleans police officer. I think about Carrie and her evacuation that involved a helicopter and airplane, and I think about all of her plumbing being stolen from her home. I think about Joe and Annie who, in spite of still waiting for their home to be demolished, greeted our team as if we were their own children coming for a visit. Yes, going to NOLA was truly about the people, not about the work, for me this year.

God spoke to me in NOLA this year. He told me to seek Him first and everything else will fall into place. He doesn’t want my good works, but rather he desires for me to be His hands and feet in this world. It needs to be God, others (family, friends, NOLA families, hurting families in Portland, ME, etc.), and then me. I so often get it backwards, but God is gently pulling my thinking in line with His. He also showed me that He will be faithful to His people if we seek His face. That’s my desire – to see His face in all things and in all people every day.

- Bob Gardner

It’s hard to explain all the feelings I have felt since we returned home early Tuesday morning. Happy, sad, tired, rejuvenated, eager…Although I have been enjoying sleeping in until ten or eleven everyday, I have missed getting up and going straight to work. My mom has had jobs for me to do outside the past few days that have help to bring back memories of NOLA. I have tried to attack all situations with vigor and enthusiasm after a week of seeing devastating living conditions. Even after being home for an entire week, I am still processing everything that I have seen, done and heard in the past month or so.

- Michael Gardner

Well, it's been a week or so now since I got back from New Orleans. I've been happier than usual. It seems like I have more to live for now. I feel more bold in letting people know about my faith. I also feel very close to everyone who went on the trip, and I thank God for the new frienships I made and the old ones that were strengthened. My relationship with God has been deepened as well. I really have a heart for missions trips and hope we can go somewhere next year!

- Kristan Bowie

After being home for a week and catching up on sleep, how lucky I am to have everything I do has really sunk in. I compare my life to those of the people of New Orleans and I realize that I've been living the good life. In New Orleans people are racing to bring their homes to the livable point before the deadline; meanwhile I'm living in my cushy Falmouth home relaxing in the AC. I feel guilty almost for living like this while others are struggling so much. Right now all I want is to be back down in New Orleans working in the unbarable heat, bringing Katrina victims hope. I want to be making a difference. I miss New Orleans and our NOLA 2008 team so much!

- Rebecca Howell

This past week (and a halfish?) has been so boring.. I miss waking up every morning with something to do.. We’re home now.. What do some of the people down in New Orleans call home? What about those people who have houses that are still untouched three years later? What do they call home? If that was my house, how could I just leave all of that behind? The trip went by so fast and I didn’t want to come home. I love waking up every morning and being with everyone and getting to serve. I love getting to meet/ talk with all of the people. When we gave Mrs. Shirley her card, it brought tears to her eyes.. and almost mine. The people at the school we were painting kept saying, “Oh, you’re not getting paid for this?!” Nope.. We’re not. This is what we’re called to do. It’s not for us.. but all for God. It’s about putting other people’s needs before our own. Sometime we’re so selfish and don’t even realize all that we have.. and that some people have pretty much nothing.

While we were there, it was great to see all of the improvements; there were so many less FEMA trailers and that was really encouraging. But it was also devastating to see that there are still houses completely untouched. Once again this year, I was so blessed with this opportunity and I will never ever forget it.

- Jesse Cinque

One week later I'm still putting the pieces together. I miss everyone so much! I made some awesome new friendships as well as renewed some, and I miss being around everyone 24/7. But what I miss the most is getting up everyday with a purposeno matter how hot it was, going out, getting dirty, and looking for the plans God had laid out for us, because we knew they were there. It seems different at home, although I suppose it really isn't. God's plans for us didn't end in New Orleans, did they? But somehow it's so much harder for me being here, where I'm not being held accountable or being reminded every morning that "this is the day the Lord has made," and to rejoice and be glad in it. I seem to have forgotten one of the lessons we learned, that our daily frustrations may actually put us in a place where God wants us. It's harder to remember God's calling for us when we're surrounded by the noise and distractions of our daily lives.

People have been asking me about my experience too, but I'm not really sure how to respond. I figured by my second trip I'd be able to communicate my experiences a little better, but it always seems it gets reduced to a quick summary of the manual work we did or a weather report on the week. I don't know how to make people understand the depth of what we were doing down there: what made Jimmy's eyes tear up, or what our emotional response to Mark Anthony's story was all about. I want to show everyone the pictures and walk them through the blog, to make them understand, but all I do is smile and say, "Oh yeah, I had a lot of fun down there." But I'm working on it. I'm just praying that I won't bounce back to the normal I lived before the trip, but that God will be creating in my life that "new normal" Hannah was talking about. In the words of Matt Thiessen, "Yesterday is not quite what it could've been, as were most of all the days before. But I swear today, with every breath I'm breathing in, I'll be trying to make it so much more." That's the prayer I have for our team.

- Heather Erdmann